Thoughts On Aging

- Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

- There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.

- You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

- Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

- Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?

- You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

- Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

- By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

- A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

- You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.