~ Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
~ Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter : Eskimo Pi
~ Ratio of a jack-o-lantern's circumference to its diameter; Pumpkin pi
~ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
~ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
~ Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
~ Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
~ 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
~ Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
~ 1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
~ Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
~ Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
~ 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
~ 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
~ 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
~ 365.25 days: 1 unicycle
~ 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds
~ 10 cards: 1 decacards
~ 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
~ 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
~ 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
~ 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
~ 10 rations: 1 decoration
~ 100 rations: 1 C-ration
~ 2 monograms: 1 diagram
~ 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
~ 24 statute miles in intravenous surgical tubing at Yale
Univ Hospital: 1 I.V. League